Loving Yourself Comes First

I always heard those quotes when reading spiritual and new age books, yet I never seemed to get what it meant.

Love yourself first? But what does that mean? I’m sure I love myself and take good care of myself. 

Really? Then let’s open up about our relationships.

Have you ever thought about what it means to spend time with another being of conscious?

You have your own body, your mind and your world. You own it and you can shape it the way you want. But when you compromise it in order to accommodate another (family, friends or lovers it doesn’t matter) things turn sour. Very.

Have you ever liked someone so much that you were willing to spend any time or money you had on them? I know I did, and trust me, it wasn’t pretty. I felt like a zombie on drugs, constantly monitoring how that someone was, what she was doing and trying to fit her schedule and preference.

I felt my body devoured from the inside with emotions and attachment, and because of that I suffered greatly. I got sick. What’s more, the girl I liked distanced herself away from me.

You see, what I failed to recognize at that time was that I was never in love with myself, I never took priority in myself before putting it on someone else. In other words, I left myself to gather dust and rot; when she saw that she was disgusted and left.

Love yourself first. Prioritize what you want to do with your career, your health and your schedule first before thinking of spending time with others. Your mental and physical state is so much more important, you have to be selfish about yourself. It really is an oxymoron, a contradiction but in order to help others you have to help yourself.

You need to be filled to fulfill others.

This seems to be true not just for relationships but other aspects of life.

Am I having fun? Am I enjoying the moment?

This thought process is something I am becoming more and more conscious of nowadays. I know and believe that I will be able to make others feel good when I feel good and am enjoying the moment.

So just know that if you don’t feel good about spending time with others or you need alone time, take it as your number one priority and don’t feel guilty. It’s your right to take care of yourself first.

Am I having fun? Am I enjoying the moment?

These questions are also something that could really benefit you and me wherever we are and whatever we do. As long as we can say yes to those questions, all is well.